I wonder how the butterfly in the chrysalis feels. Do its muscles ache? Has it found new muscles it didn’t know it had? Does it KNOW it’s changing?

Today I met, for the first time, with my trainer at the rec center. I’ll call her Coach. Coach is like caffeine personified, which was sort of encouraging and daunting at the same time. She introduced me to the beginning of my new Tu/Th morning routine, which was pretty challenging even in its abbreviated form. And I never dreamed that branching out from a treadmill to elliptical or that odd step/run machine would HURT SO MUCH. SO FAST. But she was very encouraging about my River Running, and she said my diet was really good. (I know that it’s too carby for my metabolism, though.) She gave me a food diary and is going to check it with me next Friday, and I am LOVING the accountability. I really need that. In fact, part of my newfound hopefulness is that I am not walking this road alone, even if I am paying for the company. 🙂

I hope I am going to be a butterfly. Not that I am feeling like an ugly caterpillar, because, between my Beloved husband and my Heavenly Father, I know I am beautiful. Radiant, even, sometimes! But rather, because I want so much to transform. I’ve had a lot happen in the last 8 years or so, and cumulatively they’ve taken their toll. God is good, and He has never left me, but I feel in need of restoration in so many ways. I’ve tried to recover in the midst of it all, but I am grateful to God for giving me this period of time to focus on making me whole again. I feel like I AM changing!



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