Tag Archives: accountability

Midway Through the Decade…

When I turned 40, I put together a list of 50 things I’d like to do in the coming decade. It was for fun, but it was also purposeful, intended to insure that I didn’t just live life haphazardly, watching 10 years go by mired in the mundane and meaningless. I wanted to be able, at 50, to say I had accomplished some things of value, and lived out a dream or two.

Well, today I am 46, halfway through the allotted time. Am I halfway through my list? Well, close, actually. I’ve highlighted 22 items on the list, although a few have been modified as my circumstances changed. Some I can definitely see possibly achieving in the next four years: the cross stitch, maybe a scrapbook, some form of a women’s retreat. But there are a few I really don’t aspire to anymore, for whatever reason. My kids don’t have Dance Dance Revolution anymore. I gave up on the email diary, and the paper monster is more tame than he used to be, but I don’t really believe he’ll ever be fully domesticated. Some are on there for my own good, but I doubt they are achievable; should they stay, then? Or should I replace them with something that could actually happen?

I am encouraged when I look back at all that has been achieved on this list so far, though. And interestingly enough, these aren’t even the coolest things that have happened! God always has dreamed so much bigger than I. I would NEVER have thought to include “initiate and help re-found and organize a seriously major (and successful) charity event in the community to which I moved, recently.” Or “teach art (ART?!) in a Christian classroom setting to K-6 or 7.” Or even “graduate a child from high school EARLY.” My life is considerably more interesting than I could plan for myself! I have no idea what the next four years will hold, but I know my God, and I know it will be exciting!

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Derailed? Getting back on track.

Yes, I have been quiet lately. Kids were very sick, vacation Bible school filled more than its fair share of space, and for awhile I couldn’t make time to be here. I was derailed.

It is really hard to make this a priority again after so many things legitimately got in the way. Now, even little things serve as an excuse. Today, I should load those dirty dishes over there. I have a book I’ve been reading. And Stoney and I are in the middle of a movie. There are still decorations from my daughter’s graduation reception to take down. But I made myself write this little excuse bit because I need to start back writing SOMEthing. ANYTHING. It’s a discipline, and so you get my fluff piece here as a result.

So, note to self: blog this week about the cupcakes from Katie’s reception, the surprisingly good time at Cowboys and Aliens, and the search for a solution to teaching homeschoolers in a WIDE age range.

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Confessions of a Tracker Cheater

This past Thursday was my 14th week in Weight Watchers. Looking over my weigh-ins, I have come to an uncomfortable conclusion that pushes past my natural state of denial: I don’t want to get past a 10 pound weight loss. Really, I have had a fairly steady, healthy loss for the first 10 weeks, at which I hit a 5% loss goal. But since then, I have been wildly up and down, to arrive at essentially the same weight a month later.

I have had so many excuses over the last month:

*I am so stressed! (It has been a stinker of a month, actually.) I just can’t get a grip on the stress eating.

*I’ve been too busy to get all my exercise points.

*I was wearing my blue jeans for that weigh-in, AND I had just eaten dinner!

But you know what my real problem is? I am not exercising my self-control. And I am lying. On my tracker. To ME. How lame is that?! Like I don’t already know that I had three cookies and only gave points for two? Or (true story) I ate four or five cookies for breakfast so I just abandoned tracking the day altogether. And you know those BLTs (bites, licks and tatstes)? I confess I have NEVER tracked those! Sampling as the chef? Points free, of course. Finishing the last couple of bites from a kid’s plate? Surely those points are gone now. And what about that little palmful of Cajun trail mix? How much could that be?

Just call me Bessie, as in the cow, because I GRAZE. And I really have a lot of trouble managing that eating. It’s got nothing to do with being hungry, and it DOES get worse with stress, but that’s no excuse. It’s like I need the *activity* more than that I need the food. The craving to nibble just grows. I am discouraged by my inability to manage it.

However, I can be capable of managing the environment: I can keep plenty of sugar snap peas and baby carrots and celery sticks and strawberries and even plain popcorn easily accessible, and keep the kids’ snacks harder to get to. I can sip my low cal hot Russian tea, but I need a good hot-weather alternative with no caffeine and no artificial sweetener. I can also chew gum, which is actually very effective, but it gets tiring (literally).  All of these strategies help, but I need to TRACK them. They are low-cal grazing alternatives, but they still pack a point!

This week I am renewing my effort to not make excuses for myself and to be honest with myself. I mean really, what good does it do to lie to ME? Apparently, all it accomplishes is feeding some apparent psychological roadblock to pushing beyond my 10 pound weight loss. Wish me luck!

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I can see for miles, and miles…of milestones!

FIRST: note that my 50 before 50 has another first highlighted! Yes, I enjoyed my first professional massage as a non-food reward for dropping below 180 and staying there. I felt like butter softening. And it had turned out to be a rather stressful day, too, as my oldest had the transmission go out on his car, two states away, and we were trying to work the whole issue. Ahhhh! Relief!

NEXT: I got not only my 5% award at Weight Watchers tonight, I also made my second 5 pound award! Lots of milestones. Current weight 175.8.

Now for the numbers…I only alotted myself 24 points a day, instead of 25. I feel safer that way. I ate 220 points, which included my 168 points, pretty much all my 35 weekly points, plus lots of my 34 Activity Points. I think I’m still being pretty conservative with those APs, but I actually hope to exercise a little more this next week as I further prepare for my Someday 5K. I made some poor decisions early on in the week that I feared would cost me my goal (like the all-you-can-eat pizza buffet, where at least I didn’t eat all I *could*), but the last few days have been filled with better choices, so it all worked out in the end! Truly, this journey is a marathon, not a sprint, which is a good thing, as I’ve never been a good sprinter.

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Weighing in

Up .2 pounds, which considering the time of month and those delicious irresistible evil Girl Scout cookies, I am not going to complain. I lost my tracker halfway through the week and only managed about 25 AP points due to extreme busy-ness, so seriously, a maintaining weight is not going to throw me. I just can’t let it continue is all. That could be tough with celebrating my hubby’s birthday tomorrow, but I will do my best!

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Rushed update

Ridiculously busy. Drat.

But I weighed in Thursday am at 178.2. I ate all my points plus 33 weekly points, plus 21 activity points. My foot is giving me grief again, so fewer APs.

I have a feeling that next week might be up a bit. But I’m going to do my best!

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Checking in and jumping up and down

Oh Joy!

Oh Joy!

Too bad I can’t count that as Activity Points.

Woot! I have a 5 pound star! I actually lost 1.2 pounds, for a total of 6.1 pounds lost in five weeks. This is a phenomenal rate of weight loss for me: about twice my Texas Weight Watchers loss rate, and easily 4-5 times what I lose without Weight Watchers. See my joyous Snoopy dance? However, I did learn that my jeans weigh TWO WHOLE POUNDS. I weighed at home with and without, and believe you me, I will never weigh in my jeans again. I ditched them for the lightest weight pants I could find.

Points consumed for the week, which included Valentine’s Day: 208 points out of a possible weekly 210 + 33 activity points.

Also, beyond the five pound star, I also crossed my 180 pound threshold, at 179.8 pounds. This is glorious news!! And WHY is it glorious news? Because if I maintain a weight below 180 pounds next weigh-in, I get to treat myself to a FULL BODY MASSAGE!! Woo-hoo! Hallelujah! Because that will mean I have genuinely lost 10 pounds since May. I really hope Coach does a body fat test again in March, because I would love to know how many actual fat pounds are gone now.

OK, enough with the physical. I am a spiritual creature, too, and how is that going? Well, just as I suspected, taking on leadership in BSF has definitely kicked everything up a notch. I’m having a great time, and God is helping me order my time so that it is not too burdensome (at times it’s positively joyful) praying for another 15 women in my life. And I am getting SO MUCH out of the leaders’ meeting. Who knew the Books of the Law would have so much applicable learning?

Now if Spring would just spring my joy would just bubble over! This interminable winter looks to be wrapping up a bit. I have crocus blooming in my garden. 🙂

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I’ve put it off long enough…

True confessions about weigh-in on Thursday:

I didn’t. I took a pass. I CHICKENED OUT.

Because I knew full well the consequences of sipping and snacking as a medicinal treatment for a very sore throat: an extra pound. At least. I’ve been sick for a week (finally feeling good today!), and all the nibbling and sipping cost me most of my weekly points. And I only managed 11 activity points for the whole week, which isn’t even half of my usual. I really was sick! Too bad it wasn’t the kind of sick that causes you to LOSE pounds.

But, I am proud that I went anyway. AND I kept tracking. AND I did go in and workout when I could, as much as I could. Obviously that wasn’t much, but it certainly was better than nothing! Today I head back to the rec center and try to manage a whole workout. It will certainly take longer, but I’ll take my time and hang in there. Wish me luck!

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Making it through the Super Bowl…On Plan

I think we can all agree that Super Bowl Sunday is a daaaangerous day for those of us trying to lose weight. Ever the optimist, I began this day with the intent, nay: the DETERMINATION to survive the night on plan with Weight Watchers. After all, that IS why I added WW to my arsenal of accountability partners; I needed help managing the food! So far, so good. And I don’t feel deprived at all.

I started out with only 4 points at breakfast, but whole grain to stick around awhile. Lunch was 1 point soup and whole grain goldfish, so only another 4 points. That left 17 points for the occasion! Now I can have BOTH a small beef fajita and 6 baked buffalo wings and dip baked tostitos in my salsa and veggies in my guacamole, and be satisfied and then some on a feast of  21 points. The whole day so far is only 4 points into my weekly allowance. I am patting me on the back!

And when the rest of the gang breaks out the ice cream and root beer for floats, I have stocked up on Weight Watchers ice cream cups, so I can still have my similar sweet, but only 2 more points.

My success is not just what I DID eat, but also what I kept out of the house! We have NO Chex Mix, a bad binge trigger for me. Also no cookies or cake or cobbler: I love that stuff! For me, ice cream is nice, but not to die for, so I can have a little and leave it. I had a lot of points for one day without any activity points, but for a special occasion, it’s a good day!

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Full-fledged member…again.

Yes, I did rejoin Weight Watchers this past Thursday. Frankly, I was amazed at the sheer SIZE of the group. It is the only one offered in my town, and it January, when all the resolutes crawl out of the wood work for a couple of months, but still, I was amazed. And the streets were snow-covered and it was bitterly cold, even! Thankfully, I got there the requested 15 minutes early, so I only waited in line 20 minutes. 🙂 There was still PLENTY of line behind me, though, never fear.

I liked the little spiel the leader gave, with visual aids! showing the difference your food choices can make in volume and staying power for the same points. It inspired me to try fill up more on fewer points, but really, hunger has rarely been my problem. The new trackers were interesting, though. It is amazing how much info they can fit in such a wee book! And it has a hunger tracker now, too, which showed today that getting too hungry CAN lead me to poorer choices. Knowing that doesn’t seem to help too much, though, if I can’t prevent the getting-too-hungry.

OK, the baseline weight for this week for WW is 186. That’s a clothed night weight the day before my monthly visit, when I usually do a bare first-thing am weight. I guess I’ll just have to adjust my thinking, eh?

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